Witness for the murderer

OK, let’s say you’re friends with a guy. You knew him in high school, he seemed like a cool guy, pretty funny guy, beer drinker. He got married to a cheerleader type, perky and cute. You kinda lost touch for a little while, maybe you saw him around town. He seemed happy and still reasonably sociable.

Then you hear that his wife is missing. She was pregnant. Rumors start to pop up that this guy was cheating on his wife. He had a mistress in another city. He was a pathological liar. You still feel bad because he says he misses his wife during the holidays. Then his unborn son washes up in the bay. The next day, his wife’s dead body washes up. A couple of days later, the cops find your friend near the Mexican border. He dyed his hair, had his passport, and shitloads of cash.

The trial is a circus. There is a lot of circumstantial evidence against your friend, and NO evidence at all that would absolve him. After some jury drama, he’s found guilty of all charges in record time.

What kind of fucktard would still appear on his behalf at the sentencing?

So, apparently, every thinking human knows he’s guilty, but you think you know better. Not only does he NOT deserve the death penalty, but the jury was wrong wrong wrong, and he’s really innocent. You know what? We should give you the death penalty just for being stupid. Seriously.