Job

Sometimes, my job really pisses me off.  I’m a Training Manager/Consultant/Specialist, depending on who you ask.  Most around here consider me the Training Manager, mainly because I’m the only sap in this organization who has the word “Training” in my title, so they automatically confer manager status.  Technically, I’m a Training Specialist, at least according to my business card.  Hell, they could call me Toilet King, as long as the paycheck is auto-deposited.

Anyway, we have some auditor types poking around here, either for SOX or ISO or some other acronymically identified company or regulation.  Every time someone is missing some job-related documentation, the assclown managers around here say ‘Go to Todd, he has the training stuff.”, like I’m the all-encompassing repository of all documentation.  The reality is that most of these managers wouldn’t know training if it smacked them in the cranium, and like to use training as the scapegoat for all troubles.  Salesperson is below quota?  Not enough training.  Customer Service treats a customer like shit.  Bad training.  Vending machine runs out of Diet Pepsi.  Must need more training…

I’m not gonna throw out the old “if you held a gun to their head, could they do it” argument.  At least not yet.  How about this one?  If I offered them a million dollars to do everything exactly the way they’ve been told, COULD they do it?  If yes, then it isn’t a training issue, it’s a motivational issue.  For example, each salesperson is required to submit call reports via an online sales force automation tool.  They were all trained and all passed the assessment and did their call reports for a couple of months.  Now some have stopped doing them, claiming that they “didn’t get enough training”.  Listen, dipwad, if you did it correctly ONCE, it’s not a training issue.  If you did it correctly for months, it really really isn’t a training issue.  I would guess if you were offered 10x your salary to do call reports, you would do more call reports than the rest of the company combined.  That’s motivation, not training.